I have to believe.... | the victims from Sandy Hook

I sit here tonight.. next to my husband,  knowing our children are tucked safe in their beds. I do this knowing that there are 26 families in Newtown, Conn. that cannot say the same thing. My heart aches for them. I have shed so many tears for them, said so many prayers for them. I will continue to say prayers and shed tears in the weeks and months to come, I am sure. All I do is think of all those involved and I start to cry.

As I was driving to Church this morning, I was going over my Primary lesson in my head. It was all about preparing for the second coming of Christ. My thoughts quickly turned to the events of this past Friday. I began thinking of what must have occurred that morning in Heaven, before the shooter entered that school.

I imagined Christ gathering all the angels around. I imagined Him telling them all that they needed to prepare, for in a few hours times they would be receiving 26 new and AMAZING spirits into Heaven. I imagined that He would tell them of the horror that was about to take place, but that these 26 spirits were sooo special, sooo amazing, that were to be called home that day. I imagined the angels preparing, and the family members who had gone before them, waiting anxiously to receive them. I imagined those 26 spirits running towards Heavens gates, no fear, no worry, no hurt, no pain. I imagined them to be embraced by all those who were waiting. What a joyous reunion it must have been.

And then I cried.

 I HAVE to believe this, I NEED to believe this. As a mother, as a Christian, as a citizen of this nation. I NEED to believe that THIS is what occurred Friday morning in the Heavens, because what occurred down here on Earth, was so tragic, so horrific, so unimaginable, that I need to believe that those 26 souls were spared from any memory, any pain related to what happened. And I need to believe that they were soooo special, soooo amazing, that they were needed more on the other side than they were here.

I cannot say that I know what those families are going through. I wouldn't dare try to compare anything in my life to what happened in theirs. Only those who have lost a child can even begin to understand the pain those parents are feeling. Only a child who's mother has been taken too soon can share in the pain of the women who were killed Friday. All I can offer is my prayers, and a promise. A promise to not be so quick to snap at my children. A promise to give them extra hugs and kisses each day. A promise to LOVE them and to SHOW them I love them each and every day. I need to promise that I will do these things so that those 20 babies that were gunned down will not have died in vain. If the events of last Friday can make a parent stop a moment to give that extra hug, say that extra "I love you." or put the laptop/tablet/phone down to really listen to the story their child is telling them.... then those poor sweet babies will NOT have died in vain. They will have helped bring parents and children all over the world, closer together.

I need you all to make this promise with me. Promise that in a month, in a year... you will STILL be making every second count. You will STILL give that extra hug, you will never leave without an "I Love You." And promise that those 26 amazing spirits will not soon leave your thoughts and prayers.

I need to believe that out of this tragedy will come goodness. And I need to believe that we as Americans, as humans, will find the good and share it with the world.