In truth, I remember being terrified. I felt soooo unprepared for Easton to be born. He didn't have his own room, or even a crib (though in all honesty, that didn't really matter, as we co-sleep the first few months anyway), we didn't have a car that would fit us all safely, and Ricky was about to be laid off.
I did a lot of praying then. A lot. It was all I could do. I know much of what I was feeling was due in part to the lovely pregnancy hormones, but the things we were facing WERE scary, and so it wasn't all "crazy preggo brain". I do remember feeling a sense of peace though, a calming feeling that everything would be okay. And it was. It always is.
I ALWAYS freak out, I always worry, stress, panic, but in truth... it ALWAYS works out for us. Maybe not right when I want it to, but eventually, it does work out. Those things I worried about this time last year.... most worked out (we are still living with my parents), but Easton came and we survived! lol We ended up getting a new mini van that fits us all, safely. AND... Ricky, while he was unemployed for 7 months... got a job. And, we survived during his unemployment. Things worked out.
I have no doubt that the other stuff will also work out. We will get a house, and while I'm sure that fact alone will bring on a new slew of worries, it will be okay. ;) Moving here has given us an entirely new set of trials to deal with. But so far they have helped to shape us into who we need to be. I know that I need to start trusting in Heavenly Father more. He really does know best, and the sooner I trust Him and stop freaking out over everything, the better off I'll be. ;) I'm trying, but for an admitted control freak like myself, giving up the reins is a hard thing. But I'm getting there. Slowly but surely... I'm figuring it out.
It's crazy to think that this was where we were this time last year...
8 Feb 2011
